Re: Become a Volunteer Minister!

Date: 25 Jun 2003 13:33:55 -0700
Newsgroups: alt.slack,alt.religion.scientology
Size: 3,742 bytes

"Artemia Salina" <email-address-deleted> wrote in message news:<email-address-deleted>...
> On Tue, 24 Jun 2003 23:42:02 +0000, Modemac wrote:
>
> > This picture book advertisement/promotion for Scientology Volunteer
> > Ministers must have been made during the late sixties or early
> > seventies:
> >
> > http://www.bloodyspew.com/
> >
> > See the progression of religion through the ages, until it produces
> > the ultimate superhero of our time -- the Scientology Volunteer
> > Minister! See our heroic SVM clean up the community, show the police
> > how to do their jobs, perform laying on hands, and (especially)
> > introduce other members of the community to Scientology in a picture
> > format so cheesy, you'd have to believe this thing was made by
> > Scientology's enemies in order to discredit it!
> >
> > --
> > First Online Church of "Bob"
> > http://www.modemac.com/
>
> I think its terrible that all of you are making fun of someone's religion!
> I know many scientologists and they are very nice people.
>
> How would you like it if someone made fun of your religion?
All right, I was in that church at one point in time and I will tell a
non-amusing story about something and give you a verbalized graphic of
what occurred and then you can have a laugh about "me" at my expense.
How's that sound.
About 17 years I was at the CLO in New York, sent there for a few days
because I supposedly had to get some education on something that would
help me do my job at the church better. Yes, I worked at a church for
2 1/2 years. I tryed like hell to get this thing finished on a Sunday
by the time the last train home left. I already had the ticket because
I had purchased a two way ticket when I made the trip there.
They just dragged things on and on and finally they finished what they
were doing with me and gave me the "OK" to leave. I wasn't going to
walk out without that "OK" and just come back the following weekend,
because as hard as it sounds to believe, that just doesn't happen in
the place. Finally finished, but now there are no more trains home the
rest of that day. But there is a bus, but I have no bus ticket and I
have no cash. And back then I had no charge cards. And the bus leaves
in 20 minutes. All's I have is a train ticket, but I can cash in the
train ticket and get enough cash and then buy a bus ticket. So that
means if I can get to Grand Central and cash the ticket in and then
get to Port Authority and buy a bus ticket I can take the bus,
provided I do it all in the alloted time.
CLO is a few blocks north of Times Square (42nd St. and Broadway).
Grand Central is about 12 blocks east of Times square. Port Authority
is one long block west of Times Square. I've got 20 minutes.
So, I have to run from CLO to Grand Central, cash the ticket in, run
from Grand Central to Port Authority, buy a ticket, and get to the
parking space that the bus is in. If there are long lines at Grand
Central or Port Authiority ticket booths, I am sunk.
So I begin my trek! Now picture this! I am wearing a suit, tie and
wing-tips. Now picture New York City and picture a man dressed like I
was, running those routes. I can look at that in my mind and I can do
two things. (1) I can get disgusted that I was in that situation and
(2) I can save myself by laughing at the idea of how hilarious I must
have looked running up and down those streets. So go ahead and laugh
at that! At my expense!
Fortunately there were no lines at the ticket booths, and I arrived at
the bus just as the driver was getting ready to close the door. I was
so friggin out of breath. If I weighed as much then as I do now,...
forget it, I'm cooked!
And...I will never wear wing-tips again!
Rd00