The Gospel According to the Osbournes

Date: 11 May 2003 15:21:25 -0700
Newsgroups: alt.gossip.celebrities,alt.tv.mtv
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May 11, 2003
THE POP GOSPEL
Topic: The Gospel According to the Osbournes
by David Buckna
1 In 1969, a group of Satanists asked Ozzy Osbourne's group, Black
Sabbath, to play at their "Night of Satan" at Stonehenge. The band
refused, only to hear that the Satanists then placed a hex on them.
What did Ozzy ask his father to make?
2 On Black Sabbath's 1971 album, Master of Reality, Ozzy sings: "Could
it be you're afraid of what your friends might say/ If they knew you
believe in God above?/ They should realize before they criticize/That
God is the only way to love." Name the song.
3 A huge painting of two biblical cities hangs in the Osbourne's
Beverly Hills mansion. Name the cities.
4 What song did Ozzy sing on Rick Wakeman's double album, Return To
The Centre Of The Earth (2000)?
5 On Sept. 11, 2001, where did Ozzy and Sharon seek solace, after
tearfully witnessing the World Trade Center carnage from their
mid-town hotel?
6 When Kelly Osbourne was asked to name her favourite recent film, she
replied, "This is really sad and kind of embarrassing, but I saw that
Mandy Moore film, and I cried four times." Name the film.
7 At Washington's National Press Club, on May 13, 2002, who said The
Osbournes' show confirms family values, once you "get beyond the
dysfunctional aspects" -- George W. Bush, James Dobson or Dan Quayle?
8 Ozzy on Sharon: "Whoever said women are the weaker sex never met my
wife. She never stops. She's an absolute completely lunatic
workaholic. I say to her, 'Even God had a day off.' But I love her
madly."
So why does the Bible say that God created woman?
9 What singer reprised Ozzy's Crazy Times for The Osbournes Family
Album, released in June 2002?
10 What words of Jesus are printed on a bookmark given to Ozzy by his
mother?
Answers
1. An aluminum cross for each band member. Ozzy then had the crosses
blessed. According to The Complete Ozzy Osbourne FAQ, band members
"wore these crosses 24 hours a day for protection. The cross remains a
well known Black Sabbath symbol even to this day. You see, Black
Sabbath as Satanic and dark as the name sounded, had nothing to do
with the devil when they chose their name." Bassist Terry "Geezer"
Butler suggested the name Black Sabbath after seeing an ad for a
horror film starring Boris Karloff.
2. After Forever, which continues: "Perhaps you'll think before you
say that God is dead and gone/Open your eyes, just realize that he's
the one/The only one who can save you now from all this sin and hate/
Or will you still jeer at all you hear? Yes! I think it's too late."
3. Sodom and Gomorrah, destroyed by fire and brimstone (Genesis
19:24-25). Flopping onto the couch beneath the painting, Ozzy said,
"Every time I sit in this room, I want a cigarette. This is where I
used to smoke. Actually, every time I eat, I want a cigarette. Every
time I wake up in the morning, I want one. Every time I go to sleep, I
want one. And they say it's not addictive."
4. Buried Alive, with the lyric: "The devil no longer has all the
best tunes."
Wakeman said in an interview at the time of the album's release: "I
chose Ozzy because he has a great voice, is a great friend, and was
the right man for the song...I worked with Ozzy on his Ozzmosis album
a few years ago in New York and really thought it was a tremendous
recording. There is so much more to Ozzy than meets the eye, or the
ear...Ozzy and I have discussed many things in the 30 years we've
known each other and that has included God. I'm not going to say any
more on this subject as the things we discussed were pretty personal.
Whilst my faith is well-known and I am always happy to discuss it
openly whenever asked, I don't think it's right to talk about where
another person is on their personal spiritual path, for in many cases
only God is aware of it."
5. In a Manhattan church across the road from their hotel.
6. A Walk to Remember (www.awalktoremember.com) based on the novel by
Nicholas Sparks. Kelly continues:"I saw that and I'm thinking, Oh my
God, I'm such a (expletive) idiot, I'm crying in a Mandy Moore film.
But she was halfway decent in it, and it made me cry. So was the rest
of the theater, even the guy sitting next to me that looked all tough
in his Fubu and gold chains -- he was even crying. It was just like,
'Oh God, this is so sad!' That's kind of embarrassing."
From Christiantimes.com: "But instead of steamy scenes in parked cars
or at parentless parties, this film by a major Hollywood studio shows
[Jamie] Sullivan, played by Mandy Moore, reading her Bible and living
faithfully by it. Unlike the Hollywood stereotype of conservative
believers, this pastor's daughter is sincere, talented and chaste.
Shes openly, unmistakably, unashamedly Christian."
7. Former U.S. vice-president Dan Quayle. Noting that offensive words
are bleeped out and the show features two "loving parents," Quayle
said, "I think there are some very good lessons there that are being
transmitted, of not doing drugs, of not doing alcohol....In a weird
way, Ozzy is a great anti-drug promotion. Look at him and how fried
his brains are from taking drugs all those years and everyone will
say, 'I don't want to be like that'."
Eleven years have passed since Quayle made headlines with his famous
swipe at Murphy Brown, a CBS sitcom about an unmarried TV reporter who
decided to raise her child alone.
8. "The Lord God said, 'It is not good for the man to be alone. I will
make a helpmate suitable for him.' " (Genesis 2:18).
9. Pat Boone, who lived next door to the Osbournes for three years.
Boone recalls, "I never heard the language that I hear on their show.
I don't know which -- whether Ozzy or Sharon said, 'Don't use the
language with Pat Boone's over here.' One of my fondest memories was
when they lived next door to me, was riding bikes with Sharon in the
afternoon on the sidewalks through Beverly Hills. And since Ozzy has a
balance problem, she just towed him behind her bike in a
wagon....Ozzy's not going to like my saying this, but he is a very
tender, gentle man. This is a guy whose world revolves not so much
around music as
around his wife."
In 1997, Boone released In A Metal Mood: No More Mr. Nice Guy -- a
collection of almost unrecognizable heavy metal covers given the big
band, jazz treatment.
On April 10, 2003 Boone was inducted into the Gospel Music Hall of
Fame. In Dec. 2002, Boone said, "There is no other recognition or
award in this world that means more to me than this invitation to the
Gospel Music Hall of Fame. It would only be second to having my name
in The Lamb's Book of Life."
10. "Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you
as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be
afraid." (John 14:27). Ozzy took the bookmark with him on last year's
Ozzfest tour. He explained, "My mother gave me that prayer on her
deathbed."
Knowledge level:
0-1 kindergarten
2-3 primary
4-5 intermediate
6-7 secondary
8-9 college/university
10 As wise as Solomon.
For comments, or to suggest questions, e-mail:
email-address-deleted
Note: To obtain permission to publish in any print or online format,
contact David Buckna at (email-address-deleted) or (email-address-deleted)
For more info:
* CNN's "People in the News" profile of the Osbournes
(www.cnn.com/TRANSCRIPTS/0211/30/pitn.00.html)
* The Complete Ozzy Osbourne Biography and FAQ
(www.faqs.org/ftp/usenet/news.answers/music/ozzy-osbourne-faq)
* Add Ozzy to your prayer list (www.bpnews.net/bpnews.asp?ID=14749)