Re: [OT] Jazz: Why?

Date: Sun, 1 Jun 2003 17:24:20 +0900
Newsgroups: rec.arts.sf.starwars.misc,rec.music.bluenote
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You might get more interesting replies from jazz fans, so in anticipation of
such I'm forwarding your message to a jazz newsgroup. Heads up!
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<email-address-deleted> wrote in message
news:20030526093119.262$email-address-deleted...
My alarm clock radio is tuned to NPR. It goes off at 6:00 every morning.
It always manages to go off at the crescendo of some really bright, flashy
brass run.
Yes, it's the morning jazz show. It's followed by the "Morning Edition."
Then the 9-12 jazz show. Then a few more minutes of news. Then the
12:30-4:00 jazz show. Then "All Things Considered." Then "Fresh Air."
Then the 8-midnight jazz show. (On weekends, there's opera and "The
Thistle and Shamrock" shoehorned in between the jazz shows.)
Now, it may just be that jazz is the first thing I hear when I am blasted
from my peaceful slumber into a harsh, uncaring reality every morning, but
I, like Johnny, HATE JAZZ*. Shattered dreams, indeed.
I have listened to jazz. I have heard people speak glowingly of jazz
musicians. (At least twenty minutes of each "Morning Edition" must be
devoted to some jazz legend who played sessions with Dizzy Gillespie and
Thelonius Monk and Tiny Tim.) I have heard jazz musicians interviewed on
"Fresh Air" and listened to explanations of music theory and why jazz is
Really Good.
Still, I can't stand it.
Is it the endless runs up and down the scales? Is it the constant time
shifts, something that doesn't really endear prog metal to me either,
except for a short time back in the early 90's? Is it the noodling,
emotionless quality I hear in so much of it; musicians showing their chops
just because they have them? (And have I just been listening to the wrong
stuff?)
And is there any being on earth with less reason to exist than a jazz
singer? Scooby dooby bop a loodle de day ee ay ee ay ee ay skip dop mop mip
lip dip mmm ooo dot mmm ooo dot SHUT THE F*CK UP ALREADY!
Still, I understand that there are a great many people who like jazz; who
grew up listening to the kind of stuff I grew up listening to and have
rejected all of that in favor of jazz. On "Morning Edition" this morning,
they interviewed a former punk-rocker who'd liked the work of certain
bass-player -- Henry or Harry Grimes, IIRC -- so much that he'd stopped
dyeing his hair green. Writers from George F. Will to Harlan Ellison have
written columns praising jazz, and it's been called one of the few
genuinely American contributions to the world of art.
(And, at this juncture, I'll admit a certain fondness for muted,
understated piano jazz *without any vocals*; the Vince Guaraldi Trio is
fine in my book.)
So why do I hate it so? Or, at least, why do I loathe so much of it?
And please; please please please please... if there's ANYBODY out there
who's a fan of it, and can tell me why I should like it in such a way that
opens my ears and allows me to enjoy what's screaming out of my alarm clock
every morning... golly, I'd sure appreciate that.
Steve Tilson
--
"It's like I tell the kids: Quitters never win, and don't trust whitey." - Family Guy