New Lyric: Enigmatic eyes. Comments, remarks please

Date: Wed, 4 Jun 2003 17:44:55 -0400
Newsgroups: rec.music.makers.songwriting
Size: 1,127 bytes

Hello all,
A new Lyric fro review, comment. Please feel free to suggest improvements.
I'm trying to learn "what works".
Thanks in advance,
Dan Gray
Enigmatic Eyes
Copyright 2003 Daniel D. Gray
(V-1)
I see them across the smoky room,
They speak of loss, despair, and gloom,
They hint of tears, you haven't cried,
So full of depth.enigmatic eyes.
(V-2)
Whispered dashes, of intrigue,
Clothed in lashes', bent fatigue,
They glint, of jeers, your smile denies,
So hard to fathom.enigmatic eyes,
(Chorus)
Enigmatic eyes, Enigmatic eyes, What hurricane skies Surround the disguise Of enigmatic eyes?
(V-3)
They draw me in, make wonder
What kinda sin, what kinda thunder
lives within to my surprise,
such loaded questions.enigmatic eyes
(V-4)
they smile, and dart, flirt and tease,
reveal their secrets in small degrees
they tell the truth about the lies
such shaded windows.enigmatic eyes
(Chorus) Enigmatic eyes, Enigmatic eyes, What hurricane skies Surround the disguise Of enigmatic eyes?
(Chorus-reprise) Enigmatic eyes Enigmatic eyes What form could comprise What we would surmise
From enigmatic eyes?